ORAL HERPES

Confession: I have Oral Herpes and I'm not afraid to say it

It may sound disgusting and like I should be ostracized like a leper, but try saying it out loud. But don't just say it--say it slowly and with seduction in your voice. There. Now I bet you wish you had it too. If you already have it, congratulations.

A week ago Saturday, I felt the small tingly on my lip--the indicator that Oral Herpes would be stopping by for a visit. I spent almost an hour googling home remedies for Oral Herpes. Every single spot I read and watched concluded that Abreva was my best option. One of the videos even reassured me that I'm not alone in my leperous disease. Thank goodness because I felt so alone. I just didn't feel like going to Walmart at 11 p.m. to spend $18 on a tube the size of my ear canal. Thankfully, my hubby encouraged me to go, so I owe my sweet victory to him.

One of the videos I watched suggested applying witch hazel before the Abreva, so I grabbed some of that as well. When I was home applying, I pulled out the rubbing alcohol and figured I would use that too because its container was identical to the witch hazel and a long time ago I learned that fish in identical tanks can live safely together and that was sound logic to me in my situation. Maybe it would dry it up a bit quicker. Anyhow, I don't know if it really helped, but it stung like a Witch-hazel-imposter! That's the last time I used that. Perhaps I should have considered that the dalmation fish bullied and killed the mollies. I continued applying witch hazel before the Abreva every day, and my Oral Herpes stayed confined to the guest bedroom. No one ever even saw it! It was gone by Thursday.

Then, I ran into one of my friends at volleyball. When she walked in, she had a huge cold sore on her lip. I couldn't brag about my successful bout with the disease, that would have just been rude. So I told her I'd bought some Abreva and started applying it as soon as I saw the sign. (This is where I break into Ace of Base song and dance.) She opened up her hand and looked dismally down at her own miniscule $18 tube. I should have told her the girl on youtube promised she's not alone.

Moral of this short story: Use witch hazel and possibly rubbing alcohol on your face.

The End.